12/18/07
12/12/07
One of those "wtfuzzzzzzz" moments...
My friend and I get in my car, I start it up:
Borla xr-1: BRoooooommM! Thump..Thump..
Radar Detector: "Beep beep beep, System Ready, Voice Alert"
My friend: "Jesus Dan, we're just going to the store, not to the damned Moon"
<3
Borla xr-1: BRoooooommM! Thump..Thump..
Radar Detector: "Beep beep beep, System Ready, Voice Alert"
My friend: "Jesus Dan, we're just going to the store, not to the damned Moon"
<3
12/11/07
I don't have a home...
A place to go to, to run to really. Just take me home. Even though I scream this and pace around the room as if I'm actually waiting to go "home". I know there isn't anywhere to go, he knows there isn't anywhere to be taken. Where exactly is that Kate? I know what he's getting at...but I still say it, demand it. I want to run "home", I want a safe haven just for me, a fortress of pillows on a freshly made bed, the smell of cinnamon in a warm room...I want that. Something cozy to throw my clothes on, something that is all my own.
I don't have that anymore. I don't feel at home anywhere, with myself, with him. Nothing calls to me, nothing soothes my chaotic day.
I'm fed up with it. Like there is an "it", an actual object in the way, blocking me and something "better". A moveable piece that if I push and push I can eventually knock it out of the way. There is no "it", just sour relationships and no one to say something real. Something meaningful, something that snaps you back into reality...possibility.
I'm floating, a constant source of energy...bouncing off one wall, crashing into the next. All that you plan for doesn't mean shit. The "plan" you should have, is no plan at all. There isn't someone handing out brownie points, that "higher power" isn't that at all...like a sitting duck, I feel like there is only surviving.
Maybe a little room for living...my journey though is surviving.
I don't have that anymore. I don't feel at home anywhere, with myself, with him. Nothing calls to me, nothing soothes my chaotic day.
I'm fed up with it. Like there is an "it", an actual object in the way, blocking me and something "better". A moveable piece that if I push and push I can eventually knock it out of the way. There is no "it", just sour relationships and no one to say something real. Something meaningful, something that snaps you back into reality...possibility.
I'm floating, a constant source of energy...bouncing off one wall, crashing into the next. All that you plan for doesn't mean shit. The "plan" you should have, is no plan at all. There isn't someone handing out brownie points, that "higher power" isn't that at all...like a sitting duck, I feel like there is only surviving.
Maybe a little room for living...my journey though is surviving.
12/6/07
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